I hope you worked out that this has the syntactic characteristics of the spoken. This does not mean it should not be written down. It could easily appear in a novel or short story. However, the author would then be imitating speech in his writing, creating the illusion of a narrative voice in the reader's mind.

Here is a list of some of the characteristics of the spoken:

1. Repetition

I walked into the room... When I walked in, he woke up.

what do you think I saw? I saw this man.

He was sleeping on a chair. It was a big leather chair.

2. Proliferation of pronouns

He was quite fat and he was dressed in shabby clothes. He can't have had a shave for a few days and he really was very dirty. He was sleeping on a chair.

3. Use of "and" and "but" to join short sentences

I walked into the room and what do you think I saw?

I thought I recognised him but I wasn't quite sure.

He was quite fat and he was dressed in shabby clothes.

He can't have had a shave for a few days and he really was very dirty.

4. Tendency to use non-lexical verbs - that is verbs that do not carry much meaning, for example be, do, make, have, get

I wasn't quite sure.

He was quite fat and he was dressed in shabby clothes.

He really was very dirty.

He can't have had a shave for a few days.

5. Adjectives placed after the nouns they describe

Think about how the story might be put into a more typically written syntax.

Attempt to rewrite the story in this form.

When you have finished compare your version with this version.

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